The Pairings Smash
by Purple Goddess
Summary: HG/RW, HP/DM (maybe) OC/OW. Snogging. Slash. Harry, Draco (luv dem!) Oliver, original character, herm, ron. French kissing, people nearly dying for one another, and more pairings. Will edit a bit though. PLS R&R!
1. A Disturbing Moment

,Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter but I DO own Zoe and Keesha Macintosh. Hoorah!

A/N: I've finally posted the second chappie, and if I get enough reviews in the end, I'll put in a sequel. (The ending's a bit sad…or more)

HARRY

_The silvered mist swirled around him, clouding his vision. Harry didn't know where he was going, only that he was trying to get out of the forest and away from the limbs that clawed at him, tearing his skin. Suddenly, he came to a clearing. Someone was there. Someone was laughing. The cruel laughter filled Harry's mind as he closed his eyes, trying to block out the laughter._

Harry jolted awake. His forehead glistened with sweat, his breathing haggard. Dudley's gluttony face was two inches away, his piggy eyes crushed by the folds of fat squeezed in laughter. 

"What are you doing, Dudley?" Harry realized he wasn't in his room. He was in the living room. A vase lay shattered on the floor. The family picture, (Harry not included) was askew, wallpaper was ripped off the wall, and the couch was upside down. "You're in trouble now, Harry! ! ! ! !" Dudley burbled happily. He waddled out of the room. "Father! Father! Look what Harry bloody did! Look wha-" Harry threw himself across the room, covering Dudley's mouth. But he was too late. Uncle Vernon thundered down the stairs, followed closely by eagle-eyed Aunt Petunia, her hair in curlers. When they arrived at the living room, Uncle Vernon gasped and stared at the room. Aunt Petunia screamed and fainted, her face landing in the fish bowl. She sputtered awake and fell on top of Uncle Vernon, who tripped into the bowl of salsa that was usually on the dining room table. 

"HARRY!" Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon roared in unison, their faces dripping and covered in salsa. The poor goldfish was flopping around on the floor. Uncle Vernon picked it up and waved it around like a bayonet, advancing towards Harry. He pulled Harry away from Dudley by the ear. "NO MEALS FOR A WEEK, AND YOU ARE DOING ALL THE CHORES, AND YOU WILL STAY FOR A MONTH IN YOUR CUPBOARD!" he screamed. Uncle Vernon's mustache was now just a few bristles. His face was blotchy. A few curious people, some of them head members of Aunt Petunia's Lady's Club, were gaping in through the window. Aunt Petunia fumed, embarrassed, her face was purple. She just pointed at the mess and quietly said, "CLEAN." Then she went outside to have a word with the neighbors. ("He was expelled from Brutus' and is about to be institutionalized, really, the papers are still being fixed.")

A few hours later, the house was spic and span, and Harry was now outside, gardening. What had gotten into him? One moment, he was dreaming, the next, the living room looked like hell. And that dream, he thought. Totally weird. 

_The laughter subsided. But then someone screamed, "CONTORTIOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Harry's scar exploded in pain. His very blood seemed to scream in agony while he screamed, trying to get away._

"HARRY! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU DONE? ! ? ! ? ! ?" someone yelled. Harry woke up. The garden was now worse than Mrs. Weasley's. The flowers were in shreds, the grass turned over, and the newly planted tree was nowhere to be seen, a big whole in its spot. There was even spray paint on the outside of the house, and incriminating blue and orange paint was now on Harry's hand. Uncle Vernon dragged Harry in the house. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, BOY! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? I MIGHT AS WELL SEND YOU AWAY!" He threw Harry on the floor, reaching for his leather belt.

"Wait," Uncle Vernon paused, a manic look filling his eyes, "Do those ruddy Wealies or Twealies or Weasies or Seasies or Neannies or whatever-their-names-are of yours have a telephone?"

Harry nodded silently. Mr. Weasley had excitedly installed the "feletown" the month before. 

"PACK YOUR THINGS THEN!" Uncle Vernon roared happily, pulling out half of his mustache with had only just begun to recover after last year. "I'LL BE RID OF YOU! No wait, call them first! NOW!!!!" He looked so insane Harry speed dialed the Weasley's in less than five seconds. 

"IS THIS ON?!?! CAN YOU HEAR ME? Wait a minute. . . . . . what does the manual say….oh. HELLO!!!!!! I AM MR. WEASLEY! WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!? IS THIS A FELETOWN?!?!?!? AM I DREAMING?" It was obviously Mr. Weasley.

"Uh….Mr. Weasley…-" 

"HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? KNOCK, KNOCK! Oh… wait….. HELLO?"

"Mr. Weasley, you don't have to shout."

"Oh, ahem. Er, what is it Harry? Something wrong?"

"Ah… my unc-" Uncle Vernon snatched the phone. He screamed into the phone, "YOUR RUDDY SON'S RUDDY BEST FRIEND IS DRIVING ME NUTS!!! I AM DRIVING HIM TO YOUR RUDDY HOUSE WHERE YOUR RUDDY FAMILY LIVES WHETHER YOU RUDDY LIKE IT OR NOT AND YOU CAN HAVE HIM FOR THE REST OF THE RUDDY SUMMER!!"

"Ah…"

He slammed down the phone. Uncle Vernon whirled around. "And now," he said, "Pack. NOW."

Three hours later, Harry was thrown out of the car landing headfirst into waiting Ron's stomach. The luggage followed by Hedwig came next. Hedwig's cage landed on a poor gnome. "GOODBYE BOY!!!!!" Uncle Vernon yelled. He slammed the door shut and the car careened away on two wheels.

Ron rubbed his stomach painfully. "What the bloody hell did you do to him this time?" Harry just looked at him. "I'll tell you later. I think I have to mail Sirius."

After Hedwig fluttered away with the letter, hurriedly scrawled by Harry, the two friends lugged Harry's things inside the house. Harry told Ron what happened. Ron gaped at him. "You mean you just dreamt and when you woke up, the house was half-destroyed?"

Harry nodded.

"You get weirder each year. Must be sleepwalking. Or maybe Cho's gotten to you," Ron proclaimed. The two laughed.

Inside the house, Mrs. Weasley was boiling a kettle of tea. It was when Harry first saw her that he remembered his problem: Was he going to be allowed to stay over for the rest of the summer?

"Oh, hello Harry," Mrs. Weasley greeted. Seeing the disturbed look on his face, she said, "Oh, yes, you can stay for the summer. Arthur told me. Lunch will be served in an hour or so." She tturned back to the stubborn tea kettle which refused to boil the water and kept on spitting it into Mrs. Weasley's face.

On the way upstairs, Harry and Ron saw Ginny. "Oh, hello Gin." She blushed a furious crimson and dashed down the stairs, smoke billowing out of her ears. "Hihari."

Ron sighed. "She's gotten crazier over you after what happened during our fourth year. How you were champion and all."

"Hey. I thought we were over this. It's not my fault that everyone makes a fuss whenever they see my scar." He suddenly turned angry. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE?"

"Okay, okay, sorry."

"Yeah me too." He smiled weakly. They continued upstairs, still feeling a bit grumpy. Suddenly their thoughts vanished when Pigwidgeon zoomed into Ron when they got inside his room. A letter dropped to the floor. Harry dropped his luggage and asked, "Who's that from?"

Ron blushed harder than Ginny and mumbled an answer, "Erm, no one."

Harry leapt on top of him a snatched the letter away. 

"Hey!" Ron protested.

Harry began to read out loud:

__

Dear Ronnie,

This is Fleur again, saying hi. I was just wondering how you were, and to tell you I miss you. Nothing's ever been the same, especially after what we did when I visited you. It was beautiful. I can still remember the look on George's face when he saw me. 

Anyway, please mail me back, por favor? I blow you a kiss.

Love,PS My sister is still afraid of water

Fleur Delacour

"Ronnie?" Harry said in disbelief. Then he grinned maliciously. "What exactly did you do last summer?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" George asked, barging through the door, "Nothing? I caught them snogging, and man, Fleur's one hottie."

This prompted Ron to start a pillowfight, which ended up with a lot of laughter, but in the back of Harry's mind, he felt uneasy.

A/N: Please give up another round of reviews for Harry and his friends. Another chapter will be back after a short round of reviewing.


	2. An Introduction

Disclaimer: I own nothing. There.  
  
A/N: I edited the first chapter by the way. Anyway, here comes your first introduction of Dadadadadadummmm!!!!!!!!!: THE TWINS!!! I present to you, Zoe and Keesha Macintosh.  
  
THE TWINS  
  
Mrs. Macintosh gently shook Zoe awake. Zoe's pretty face, adorned by a shock of amber-brown hair was half hidden in the sea of lavender blankets. Her room was decorated in shades of purple, lavender, and sky- blue. On her dresser were a vase of flowers and a picture of her friends and family, waving energetically and having a snowball fight. On the walls were her artworks. The furniture was white. She also had some scents in her room, and on the walls she had nailed a few glass vases filled with roses and irises. Zoe was very artistic. Her antique violin, now softly playing Minuet on its own, 3 was neatly put in the corner. When Zoe finally surrendered to her mother's shakes she groggily went to Keesha's room.  
  
When she sighed when she saw her twin's room. How could two people that looked so alike be so different? Keesha's room was the complete opposite from Zoe's. The walls were a shocking pink, the wooden floor was covered in assorted rugs with different colors (one was blue, shaped like a spiral). On her dresser, there were a lava lamp and a picture album. The walls were covered in posters, and on one side, you could barely see the pink from the Britney Spears posters and cutouts. Zoe wondered how she could stand hearing different Britneys sing I'M A SLAVE FOR YOU or OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN all at once. She had several CD racks posted neatly on the opposite side, hanging from the wall in a spiral shape.  
  
"Keesha!" Zoe shook her sister, "Wake up!"  
  
Keesha turned over. Her soft blue eyes glittered angrily at Zoe. They softened. "Happy Birthday, Sis!"  
  
"Yeah, you too."  
  
The mirror gurgled. "You two didn't tell me it was your birthday!" It giggled.  
  
"We did," the sisters said in unison, "Yesterday. Today's May 15. "  
  
"Oh.."  
  
"Come on," Keesha said to Zoe, "Let's go downstairs."  
  
"Wait." Zoe grinned.  
  
"Oh yeah!" During their third year in Beauxbatons, they had learned how to Apparate in their Charms and Crafts class. On their first try, Zoe landed on the headmaster while she was changing ("Not a pretty sight," Zoe ensured her friends) and Keesha wound up at a Muggle school one thousand miles away. The teacher had a heart attack.  
  
A moment later, the two were downstairs, magically changed into Muggle attire. Their mother gave them a big hug, saying "Happy Birthday!" with Mr. Macintosh. The toast jumped around, as if to cheer. Keesha and Zoe just smiled.  
  
After downing their breakfast, Mrs. Macintosh gave them each a parchment in green ink.  
  
"What's this?!? Oh my GOSH!"  
  
"Just read."  
  
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
  
Dear Zoe and Keesha Macintosh,  
  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for your fourth year. Please find enclosed a list of school supplies. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl no later than June 1. There are a few changes in the schedule.  
  
Minerva McGonagall,  
  
Deputy Headmistress  
  
"Wait, there's another note," Keesha exclaimed. She took the second parchment out and read:  
  
Dear Zoe and Keesha Macintosh,  
  
When you arrive at the school, we'd like you to arrange an appointment with the headmaster.  
  
Minerva McGonagall,  
  
Deputy headmistress  
  
"That's strange," wondered Zoe, "Why an appointment?"  
  
"Mum?" inquired Zoe, "Any ideas? Dad?" Their parents suddenly looked uncomfortable.  
  
Their father finally spoke up. "Maybe it's because of your transfer from Beauxbatons. It's not everyday that two people are transferred to another school in their fourth year. From France no less. And I think they'd like to know why, too." He raised an eyebrow.  
  
The twins giggled. Last year, they had strange cases of sleepwalking and woke up to find half of the usually spic and span castle nearly destroyed. They were expelled on the spot.  
  
"Um, let's leave that for later, shall we?" Mrs. Macintosh said. She snapped her fingers and a piece of parchment appeared with a pen. "Would you like to go?"  
  
"Of course!" Zoe exclaimed. Keesha nodded her head excitedly. "Harry Potter's in that school!"  
  
Keesha slapped her with a piece of toast. "Shut up and leave him alone, he doesn't even know you."  
  
"Hey!" Zoe conjured up a pie and threw it at Keesha.  
  
Mrs. Macintosh sighed and left the room to finish writing the reply. Sometimes, she thought, you have to leave everything to those two.  
  
A/N: After a few more reviews, if I get any, I'll post chapter three. 


End file.
